Oh, and I had said I was gonna write about a new admit... of which there were two, and no I don't remember which one I was talking about. But they've both been there three months already, and I've forgotten all the good initial stories. They've both settled in quite well, and the one older lady is a riot. Paranoid, but hilarious... and she even laughs at her own delusions sometimes. That's my story.
I AM HERE. 40 hrs a week + 2 classes + attempted social life = no time. Sorry guys. Can't even promise I'll be BACK back, but here's a little something. This post will be about work. The next, about research. We got a new admit about a month back. She's a recovering addict (heroin, crack, the whole nine yards) plus a borderline personality. She even got herself addicted to the PRNs (calming shots aka antipsychotics). One day she called me a bitch and said she hated me, the next I was "Big Sis" again. She was a manipulative and moody... a character, to say the least. So one night, I'm not sure why, she decides to drink half a bottle of Listerine. Now, I didn't know this, but Listerine has 20% alcohol by volume. She was a short little petite thing. She got piss-ass drunk. Alternating fighting and calling everyone "niggers" (despite being white) with crying on shoulders and needing hugs. Started staggering everywhere. I tried to lead her back to her room, but instead she leans over and "BLAAGH". She had peas for dinner. It was minty fresh. And it was on my shoes.
Fast forward. She's addicted to the PRNs. Once a week she decides she needs one real bad and wants to go to the hospital. On Saturday, however, in order to speed the process along, she slit her wrists. It disgusts me, because she did it for attention. They weren't even deep, from what I heard (I was off). She was not suicidal - she was an addict, and she wanted her drugs. Please don't get me wrong; addicts, especially recovering addicts, can most definitely become depressed and suicidal. She just wasn't, and one should never, ever use the threat of suicide to get what they want. It's way too serious of an issue. And my sister's ex-boyfriend did that, so she stayed with him for another year. He was a pig. But that's for another time.
"Who would NOT want an illness that has among its symptoms elevated and expansive mood, inlfated self-esteem, abundance of energy, less need for sleep, intensified sexuality, and ... 'sharpened and unusually creative thinking' and 'increased productivity'?" ~ Kay Redfield Jamison, "Touched with Fire"
I'm a bipolar female with a fascination for mine and other psychiatric illnesses. I work as a counselor at a long-term health care facility for the mentally ill. I like learning about neuroscience, psychology, and psychiatry, and I like writing what I'm thinking. So this is my blog.
You know how it goes. This blog is my thoughts and feelings, not only in general, but also about an illness that affects a pool larger than just those diagnosed. All of what I say is conjecture based on what I read and what I feel. Truth is relative, anyways. Leave a comment if you wish.
"Well, the world must turn on it's axis, And all mankind turn with it, heads or tails, And live and die, make love and pay our taxes, And as the veering wind shifts, shift our sails..." ~ Lord Byron, "Don Juan"