Friday, March 27, 2009

Damn that right hemisphere.

Global cortical folding reduced with treatment-resistant depression in the right hemisphere by 4%. The study involved those with unipolar depression and bipolar disorder. Also interesting is that those on lithium had 6% less cortical folding than those not taking the drug. Which, if I remember correctly, doesn't agree with a previous study/article I had commented on a while back. Don't remember which one (and too lazy to look for it), but it had mentioned that those on correct medication had more brain matter than those that were not. Or maybe it was just better performance.

Brain Marker for Familial Depression is a thinning of the cortex in the right hemisphere. A thinning of 28% actually, compared to the normals. Which is, needless to say, a hell of a lot. This was correlated with a worsening performance on attention and memory tasks.

Oh fine fine fine. We've less brain matter, folks. I'll stop arguing and being stubborn and just not accepting. But anyways, these two articles complement each other. Less cortical folding = less surface area = less space for neuronal cell bodies = less brain matter in general. Attention and memory though... I know my memory is crap, as is my father's. And his attention is going down the drain. To the point of annoyance, have to repeat everything 2 or 3 times... he can't seem to follow a conversation.

Hmmm... as I mentioned before, been reading "Touched with Fire" by Kay Redfield Jamison again. "Manic Depressives and the Artist Temperment". How in the past few centuries, there have been numerous BPDs that have impacted the literary, artistic, and musical worlds for the better. But the right hemisphere has been associated in the past with artistic sensibilities, and the left with logic and math. A general classification, but one with at least some merit I think. So why, if less brain matter in the right hemisphere, are they more creative than the general population? And super productive as well... which would not coincide with the less memory and attention. This could go back to my original theory that if they've less grey matter, they've more white matter (axons, myelin, and neuronal connections), allowing for more abstract associations in general. But who knows.

Ah, the mysteries of life.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Cars are complicated things.

I don't know if I mentioned this in a previous post, but I'm trying to buy a car. And it's a pain in the butt. I found a nice deal in the city, and my aunt is going to go with me to check it out on Saturday. However, I need to stay in the city Saturday night, because it's b-day celebrations with the buddies (involving drinks that will not enable me to drive). It just occurred to me that if I did buy the car, I'll need some place to keep it while I'm in the city... oh, poopy. Cars are a lot of work in the big bad city. Maybe my aunt will have an extra space in her apartment's garage overnight. That would be nice. Oh, and Sunday it's my cousin's b-day celebration!!! She's turning three and is the cutest, most trouble-some girl - though not as bad as me at three, as my parents tell it. Her b-day is actually the same date as mine, but with so many things going on in the fam, it'll be a late celebration. S'ok. Alrighty, just a random thought + bored at work = useless post. :-D

Okay, fine, do the gene thing

Whoa... sorry peeps, it's been awhile... although as far as I know, only two people read this thing. Gracias to you guys. :)

So previously I had expressed my exasperation with genetic studies trying to confirm that BPD and schizophrenia are hereditary, because it's obvious that they are, and has been for centuries (started up reading "Touched with Fire" again last night... probably will come by with more stuff from there... I know, I'm a bad person, I still haven't finished it after months of trying). I also stated that there needs to be more studies done on medication and treatment. Now, a combination of the two: Genetics Aid Treatment of Mental Disorders.

Gene DISC1, which I've read about before because it's part of the development of these illnesses, may also dictate how the afflicted respond to medications. They've also found seven proteins that would help the search for appropriate treatment. And really, that's all this article says. I so wish they would post a link to the actual article... that would make me so happy. Not only would it be more educational to the general public, it would give me more to write and comment about. But they probably don't do that because they want you to suscribe to the journal. Gotta love capitalism.

And I didn't realize this: “Schizophrenia is a devastating condition that affects around one in 100 people in the UK." I mean, I knew 1%-ish of the population, but stating it in that manner puts a whole new light on it. Of course, same for BPD. So prevalent, yet so few are willing to attempt understanding.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Oh darn.

Just realized something happened with the post re: male biological clocks... apparently I didn't save after I typed? That's sad, I'm sure it was amusing. Apologies, everyone.

Alcohol best in moderation - like everything else.

But yet, studies must be done: Modest Alcohol Consumption May Release Endorphins.

One or two drinks, you're good, and those opiate receptors are happily responsive. Anymore than that and anxiety and depression are on there way. For some, anyways. My dad used to get super depressed after a few drinks about 3 or 4 days later. He was alcohol free for six years. But now he's off the wagon, and it took a few tries, but he's found his limit (again). It was interesting in the meantime. Thank god my 10 year old brother is a pretty cool kid.

Myself, for the most part I do pretty good. I am most commonly a binge drinker - when I go out, I'll have 4 on average, and I got out 2-4 times a month. I realize this is not healthy, but I'm a fun drunk and not too messy. I have friends who would tell me if I was, anyways. I wonder if at some point my body chemistry will change and once I have a night like that, my mood will go down the pooper. I'll enjoy it while I can.

Hm. I wish they quoted the actual article, it mentions groundbreaking methods using live and free moving animals, animals unstressed and uninhibited. Yet in a lab. With numerous tests being done upon them. Oh yeah, I'm sure they're unstressed. Let it be known, however, I'm not against animal research, theoretically - it needs to be done to properly study cause and effect. But I don't think about it too much because it makes me sad. Anyways, point being, how free and unstressed are these animals?

Well, at least their opiate receptors are working.

I like weekends.

So I had a fun weekend... got the monies on Friday for becoming one year older. Including a $4000 loan from the grandparents for a car, which is extremely hard to shop for. Did that a bit on Saturday and discovered if you're on the dealer's lot it's somehow more expensive than it was online. Time to bring print-outs. Needless to say, no luck. Sunday was my first Bridal Shower ever and there were lots of kitchen-y things. I was the second coolest and bought THE most useful stuff - martini glasses and champagne flutes. How could you go wrong? But my good buddy Erin had a home-made card and a box of "Wedding Spices" that was very nice.

Of course, Michael was here, and he wasn't allowed to give me money or anything new, so I got his old 160 GB external hardrive and external DVD burner, with a few of his extra copies of Disney movies. Don't ask.

All in all, a good weekend. Tonight is swing dancing!!!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Back to Serious

Alrighty, so here's a pertinent post, based on this article: Male 'Biological Clock' Ticking

First, a story: I had skimmed this article on Tuesday (no, I haven't been slacking as much as ya'll thought) and something came up related to these so-called clocks while walking to deep dish pizza (heavenly, btw). Unfortunately, I sucked in trying to related this story, because I forgot a few pertinent points, such as why it's bad for men to sire children when they're getting up there in years. Except I couldn't remember the word "sire" and I said "spawn" instead, and got made fun for that. Pretty amusing, I agree. I know, bad story.

Back to the article. If a man SIRES children in his 40s, the children tend to score worse on intelligence tests, and there's a higher risk of physical defects AND neuropsychological conditions. Of course, we all know that "old" mothers result in higher risk of children with birth defects, BUT they're kids tend to score better on intelligence tests.

Explanation? From puberty, men create new sperm all the time. So by the time they're in their 40s, these spermies have been replicated A LOT and so there's a higher chance of mutation. Women have fewer

Sharpies, Cars, Letters, and Exams

So St. Patrick's Day was fun. Learned that the REAL Irish DO NOT call it St. Patty's day, they get kind of upset. Finally got to do the bar thing with a really good friend of mine. One of our party drank a whole bottle of wine and ended up getting kicked out of a bar, but her "not/maybe/ex/who knows status" boyfriend picked her up. Major points for him, but I don't know the whole story there. The party broke up and myself and two other girls decided to pick up a couple of drunk men (don't worry, we knew them before that night, lol) and take them home. One tried to fix the sink and didn't even get to the kitchen, and the other passed out on the couch and we drew on his face and back with a sharpie. If I remember, I'll post a picture... or maybe not, some R rated things... either way, quite hilarious. Yes, I did do the whiskey, and rediscovered my love for jack and coke. Wednesday wasn't bad with the hangover, just craved grease. Love water.

Been trying to buy a car since I ran Henry into a house (NOT my fault, no one was hurt except my poor nails, and Henry was a 13 yo Toyota Corolla who was very faithful and dependable and I miss him) and almost got roped into a scam online. Love the boyfriend with the nerdiness. He figured out the domain of the email address this person was using was questionable to the extreme. I wasn't too comfortable with the way the transaction was going anyway.

OH! Almost forgot - handed in the resignation letter and the boss didn't take it that badly. She said sounds like this new job was good, as long as I was happy that was fine with her, congratulations and all that good stuff. And then, as I was exiting her office, she said "I'm sure I'll mean it sometime soon." That woman is RIDICULOUS. More bipolar than me. Needs time with a therapist. Lonely old cat lady. But whatever, I start April 1st and I'm EXCITED!!!!!

And of course, been studying. And studying, and studying. Hopefully it's not for naught. 3 o'clock today is the lab exam - wish me luck!!!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Too much!!!

Too much going on today!!! Excited because today is St. Patty's day and that means bars and whiskey. And anxious because I'm going to hand in my resignation letter before I leave for the evening...

And I just realized that the reason why I'm so nervous/shakey/excitable/irritable, etc and so forth, is probably (maybe, just a little bit) because I forgot my meds this morning. Of course. Dur. Thank god the bf convinced me to put an extra couple of days in my bag last month. Knew he was good for something.

When this week ends, I'll be back with more interesting things, I promise.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Blur - Song 2

WHOO HOOO!!! Of course, that's the only part of the song I really know. But it doesn't maaatter... because I got the jooooobbb... (that was supposed to be in a sing-song type of voice). So... WHOO HOOO!!!

On the down side, I have actually been working all day (what?!?!) so I haven't been able to study, much less read anything of interest and comment about it.

However. WHOO HOOO!!!!

(See bottom of page for actual song.)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

So awful, yet simultaneously hilarious

Okay, I loved Sesame Street. Fine, fine, love. I love Big Bird, Kermit the Frog, Elmo, Snufflupagous (spelling, anyone?). I'm a math person, so Count Dracula's not too shabby either. I feel like this video should shame me... but it doesn't. Yes, I am that immature.

What a beautiful day!!!

Spring is my favorite season. Not just because that the first day of spring is my birthday (give or take a day sometimes) but because it's spring. It's growth, renewal, life. It's a reminder that after the dark, cold, and gloom, there's always a ray of sunshine, you can always begin again.

Never mind that it's just GORGEOUS.

Just got back from taking the dogs for a walk. They loved it, of course. Now they're super-exhausted, but doggy grins all around. I actually sweated a bit, because I underestimated the temperature and wore a dark sweatshirt... I forgot what the sun does to black. SUN!!!!!!!

This is a ramble-post, because all I've been doing is studying and making my hand cramp. Which is my own fault, because I make a game out of writing in small straight lines on computer paper to try to waste as little as possible. But yesterday I got through two weeks of lectures. Want to get through another two today, but it's gonna be harder... way too beautiful outside, too much pain in my wrist. But I have to if I want to party on Tuesday.



Friday, March 13, 2009

You know how it is.

I like this article: Being Bipolar: Do's and Don'ts. Makes us sound like we're impossible to live with, but that's kind of true. Reminds me why I love my boyfriend - he's got this down pat. :-D

Thursday, March 12, 2009


Just as a warning to ya'll, there won't be many posts this coming week. Two tests late next week, a lab and lecture in Anatomy and Physiology, and I need to study HARD this weekend if I'm going to allow myself to celebrate St. Patty's day with the rest of the Irish in us. So I've a few articles in my backpack, but unless I start procrastinating hard core, there won't be anything up here.

Watch me eat my words.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Atypical Depression and Suicide

Here's something interesting:
Atypical depression common in bipolar disorder suicide attempters

Well, interesting to me. I've never heard of atypical depression, but reading the qualifications in DSM-IV on wiki (gotta love it) it sounds like what I always considered a mixed episode. Well, when this atypical depression is exaggerated. It's a subtype of depression, and involves mood reactivity, specifically positive reactions to "actual or potential positive events." Also, two of the following: weight gain or increased appetite, hypersomnia, leaden paralysis (heavy feeling in extremities), and a "Long-standing pattern of interpersonal rejection sensitivity that results in significant social or occupational impairment." Well, that's my depressions to a "T". I had no idea that the leaden paralysis was a symptom... well, I knew it was a symptom for me, but not that it was official, in the DSM and all.

Just so's ya'll know, typically depression is "melancholic" with loss of pleasure and no mood reactivity to positive events, insomnia, agitation, weight loss, or excessive/inappropriate guilt. That kind used to be more common to me before Effexor XR, and to tell the truth I like the first one better. (Oh, and wiki says tricyclics are no good for those with atypical depression. Which makes sense for me, because I had a seizure two weeks after starting amitriptyline.) Anyways this atypical depression is more livable than melancholic depression, in my opinion. At least when not exaggerated... which has also happened to me. This is why I understand that it could increase your risk for suicide. It's a super rollercoaster if you have positive reactions to good things and then you feel like crap because of "interpersonal rejection." I know I take that stuff too seriously myself - I've broken down crying at work once or twice for that. Which I know is stupid, but can't seem to help myself.

Possibly too much information for all of you, for which I apologize. But there you go, atypical depression. You learn something new every day.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Dogs and Medication Adherence

Alrighty, this is gonna be a post where I comment on a few things briefly. They've been sitting in my Google Reader for a while because I think they're interesting, but can't write much about it.

First one: Could A Dog Benefit YOUR Mental Health?
YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!! I have a puppy (yes, he's a 7 yr old puppy, though my boyfriend argues otherwise) and I love him. Love him love him. There's something about coming home to a happy jumping being that is just awesome. Unconditional love and acceptance are irreplacable. And I'm a cuddler so he is too. It might've been Stockholm Syndrome from when he was a puppy (a real one, the kind that is a year or younger), but he asks, so I give. And give. And give.

Interjection: kind of confused right now, because my delete button has decided not to work. Anyways.

Second one: Predictors for bipolar disorder medication nonadherence identified
1. Comorbid substance abuse. (Okay, delete button is working again. I feel like I'm missing something important.)
2. "negative attitudes toward mood-stabilizing medication" and
3. difficulty managing medication routines.
Can we say "duh, duh, and duh!" ?? So I know I've discussed comorbid substance abuse and the tendency of MDs to self-medicate. If you're self-medicating, why bother with the prescription drugs? That's just stupid (insert sarcasm). Also, if you think mood-stabilizing medication is wrong or dumb or admits a weakness (ahem ex-boyfriend), why the hell would you take it? AND if you keep forgetting your medicine, and forgetting, and forgetting, you'd probably give up after a while.

Which leads me to the question: why do we do research studies and spend good money on the stupid, obvious stuff?

PS: Oh Shit. I found yet another article on brain matter, and it doesn't look good. More on that later.

Age and how it makes everyone stupid

First of all... WHOO-HOO Obama!!! For ending the stem-cell research ban. I LOVE that man!!!

Second of all, I almost got irritated with myself, because I thought I forgot to bring this paper I read last night I wanted to write about for all you nerds: No differential effect of age on brain matter volume and cognition in bipolar patients and healthy individuals. Which is obviously related to my previous discussions. This is what I pulled from it.

1. Treatment may result in increase in cortical and hippocampal grey matter (the treatment that works, I'm assuming). Cortex = gray matter (or grey... sorry, this is still an amusement to me), and hippocampus is good for short term memory and spatial navigation. Although it's the memory impairment which seems to be the important bit, by what they're saying.

2. Concerning age, no accelerated decline in gray matter volume in BPs compared to normals. BUT BPs lost the matter in the prefrontal (motor integration, cognition, and decision-making) and temporal (auditory crap, also connected to hippocampus and therefore memory) regions, and normals in cerebellum (movement coordination) as well as the same regions. Damn it though, it was less. I will address this.

Okay. Yeah, us BPs have crap decision-making skills at the worst of times. And everybody says crap cognition, so perhaps there's some of that, but I still stand by my original statements (concerning connections and flexible thinking). I think my hearing's pretty good, but I'll have to admit to some crap memory - I think my boyfriend gets offended when I don't remember things about his schedule or family. BUT I remember school stuff pretty well. For a semester at least. Don't ask me about orgo from four years ago, but I think that's probably everyone. Of course, if I do it again and again and again (example: neuro crap) then of course I remember. Repetition/practise and all that.

BUT meds are good for you, according to them. Which I'm sure I'll have a rant about at some point. I got dumped because I started taking medication at one point. Yeah, he was a jerk. But that's another story for another time.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Can I Counsel Myself?

So on Friday I was offered a job as a Psychiatric Rehabilitation Counselor at a long-term health care facility for the mentally ill. WHAT?!??!?! HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Problem: pay. Of course. However, I think that is a small price (no pun intended) to pay for the life experiences that will result from working with mostly schizophrenics and bipolar individuals. Never mind it's something I've been thinking about doing for my life career, but what I'll find out about... me. Not just because I'm kind of, not really, one of them, but because it'll be a trying job. Can I do it?? I'm sure as hell gonna find out.

Haven't said "yes" yet, because of that whole playing hard to get business and I need more info on the health benefits. Such as, are psych visits and meds covered? Like I'm gonna ask my future boss that out right.


Thursday, March 5, 2009

You may get annoyed with your psychotic relative, but....

Alright, so this post won't be a complete analysis of this interesting paper I've found, because I admittedly did not read though it, and just looked at the hard data. Which is the most important part, right?

I think this paper is a good follow-up to that last article I discussed in my previous two posts. That was supposed to be about just the content of the brain, but I expanded it to include mental processes. Here's a paper than refers to the processes themselves, although very basic ones.

Investigating the association between neurocognition and psychosis in bipolar disorder: further evidence for the overlap with schizophrenia

Yeah yeah yeah, schizophrenia and BPD, we're all alike. Let's go beyond that. I'm actually not going to talk about what they've concluded in this paper, because they're trying to say we have no reaction time and simple processing skills, which I'm going to ignore - at least for the time being.

What I will talk about is a trend I found from reading the hard data. Basically, normals are "smarter" than MDs. But BUT BUT! Non-affected family members of those with BPD are "smarter" than the normals!!! (I'm putting "smarter" in quotes because I have little faith that these simple tests prove anything concrete about cognitive function - perhaps the small stuff, yes, but what about higher level cognition, integration of information and all that?)

What does this mean? Well, you know that psychotic aunt you have (ahem, ahem, JESSICA :-)? Thank her for her part in your genes, because she may have given you an edge above everyone else. What I want to know is, if I'm a relative of a few MDs, does that give me an edge too? But because I'm already a MD, it all evens out?

The world may never know. (I promise I'll fully read that article. I'm printing it right now for the train ride.)

Follow-up and Continuation of "The Shady Grey Area"

So I've done a tad bit more research, mainly concerning the brain size differences in bipolars and schizophrenics. Results of two meta-analysis: no difference in bipolars and normals (p = .04)(Meta-analysis of brain size in bipolar disorder). However, with schizophrenics not only was there reduced cerebral volume, but larger ventricles (holes in the brain, don't worry, they're there in everyone) (Meta-Analysis of Regional Brain Volumes in Schizophrenia).

This is good for me and my kind, but bad for the schizophrenics. So my theory still applies for those with BPD. But I said I wasn't done with my own analysis, so I will finish it now.

To review, last post commented on an article that stated those with BPD and schizophrenia had less grey matter. I postulated that this means there's a larger amount of white matter or glials cells, both resulting in better/more connections and therefore communication between neurons. This is assuming lack of grey matter results in the illness. But what if the illness results in the lack of grey matter? Two points.

1. Consider this: the people used for the study were diagnosed, and therefore most likely on medication. Now, I'm all for meds and the resulting better quality of life, but this only works if you're on the right meds. Bringing in personal experience... NOW. Depakote, 1000 mg for a few months during my senior year of high school. Yes, one full gram. I swear to god this made me stupider. I was always good in school, I loved math and chemistry and science, and was good at it. I will brag that I was salutatorian for three years running. But that Depakote kicked in and I couldn't do physics and calculus scared the shit out of me. Sure, I'd never done these subjects before, but I swear it was the Depakote. Sometimes, you just have this feeling, right? Also, being on 6 different meds (not counting birth control) CANNOT be good for you and your brain matter. (My friends were somewhat disappointed when I dropped to seventh in the class and someone they were not too fond of gave the speech instead at graduation. Myself, I'm not too fond of public speaking and would've crapped my pants, so perhaps it was all for the best.)

2. Bipolars love to self-medicate. Alcohol is the most common form, but there's other stuff, and all you have to do is think you can fly and really, how bad could it be for you? or wish to feel something else, anything else than the crap you're feeling now. (Part of this is guess work, I am a Type II, but I've gathered this from reading.) And everyone knows what your brain looks like on drugs.

So I had started out my last post stating that the study I had presented would make us all look stupid, and maybe we are, compared to those not on meds or self-medicating. If you agree with this second part of my theory. However, I love the grEy area, and most likely it's a combination of all these things. In which case, as a whole we're probably as average (in the mental ability area) as you can get.

(This is the study referenced in the first blog: Lack Of Grey Matter In Brain Is Linked To Schizophrenia And Bipolar Disorder)

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Shady Grey Area

What follows is Extremely Close to Stream Of Consciousness.
Be warned.

First of all, how does one spell this color? Grey or Gray? Because this article definitely uses an E and the town where my parents live uses an A.

But this is unimportant. What is important is that scientists have found that the Lack Of Grey Matter In [the] Brain Is Linked To Schizophrenia And Bipolar Disorder. Okay, pretty cool, we've found a trend. WHICH SUCKS. Because now everyone is going to think we're all stupid because we have fewer brain cells. I will present my own thesis, and this picture to aid us.

Nobody's looked at the differences in the size of the overall brain between "normals" and schizos and MDs (no, I don't mean doctor, although my dad is both) (also, I'm going to tentatively take that statement back until I research it further). Let's assume for the moment (and if the succeeding statement is not true, my theory collapses, but let's move on) that we all have similar brain sizes, p<.05 between us psychos and the rest of the world. Well less grEy matter means there must be more white matter. Crap, and I just thought of those damn glial cells. Alright, now the theory splits:

1. Less grey matter = more white matter. For you non-nerdies out there, grey matter is the neuronal bodies (or somas), and white matter are their myelinated axons which send the messages to other parts of the brain/body. So yes, fewer cells. But also MORE CONNECTIONS. Do you know how many artists, poets, and composers were/are bipolar? People who make startling and new connections, putting them down on paper/canvas, and getting famous for it? We'll start off with Georgia O'Keeffe and Vincent Van Gogh, then go to Edgar Allan Poe and my personal favorite, Lord Byron. Continue on to William Faulkner and Virgina Woolf. Schumann and Tchaikovsky anyone? (this one I have a reference for: "Touched with Fire" by Kay Redfield Jamison. Actually, the whole book supports this point.) Note: I am NOT, and I repeat NOT saying that all artists, poets, writers, and composers are bipolar or have some other mental illness. It's just a trend that has been pointed out and I see merit in. Also, this does not mean I have any artistic ability. I think you might have be a Type I with the hard core psychotic episodes. I don't really think I'm a goddess.

2. Less grey matter = more glial cells. Glial cells are the supporting cells of the central nervous system. If I remember correctly, there are four types, but nevermind that. They help keep the brain/spinal cord in tip-top shape, making sure those few neuronal bodies are firing off, and firing off at the right time. Signaling and communicating to other neurons in other parts of the brain. Look at that! Sending messages, communicating with each other, CONNECTING!!!!!!

This is also assuming that the lack of grey matter causes the illness. I'll look at it the other way (the illness causing the neuronal cell bodies to go kaput) tomorrow. I have to get up early.

By the way - only me and a few close friends can call me psycho. No one else.


Building a Portrait of a Lie in the Brain

This is interesting... do some brain imaging on a person while they're lying and you might be able to tell. If you also do that whole lie detecting thing to test for sweating and heart rate and whatnot. And ask the right questions.

I think Dr. Cal Lightman has the thing all tied up. I'm referring to the new show Lie To Me, in which the good doctor can spot lies by reading facial expressions and body language while the questions are asked. I still haven't decided how much I like it, but perhaps it's enough, because I keep watching the episodes on hulu. But life would kind of suck if we couldn't tell lies. For example, I modeled a dress for my family yesterday and asked them to tell me how it looked. My dad asked "What if you look fat in it? What am I supposed to say?" My first response is to say, gimme the truth. My second is to say, sugar-coat it. But what if I noticed that suppressed sneer in the corner of his mouth? How the tilt of his head was wrong? Then it's not so much the fact I'm fat, it's the fact he lied. Yesterday I overheard a conversation concerning relationship boundaries and cheating. Yeah, that'd be real fun. Not that I wouldn't want to know the truth, but the act of lying hurts more sometimes.

In conclusion, there's no good way to tell a lie, unless you're a fictional TV show character. Especially because brain imaging is so very expensive.

No Shit.

So I've taken the advice of a friend to read up on things that are applicable to my blog and to comment on them. This will be mostly concerning BPD and other psychiatric disorders. Let's see how long this lasts.

Why, please tell me why, we're still doing research that proves that bipolar disorder (and schizophrenia) are hereditary/genetic? That should be a great, big, fat, DUH by now. I am a statistic myself. My father is bipolar as well as my uncle who committed suicide, most likely my grandfather as well, and possibly another uncle (he won't take anything that admits beyond depression however). This is all on my father's side. Truth, people. This had come to my attention by skimming the titles of articles from the past 2 months in the Google Reader "Bipolar News from Medline News Today". I found 4 talking about this. Let's quit stating the obvious, and study drugs, their effects and interactions. That would be WAY more helpful. One article that was along the DUH lines I'll allow however:

Common Causes Of Schizophrenia And Bipolar Disorder

This I allow because it links schizophrenia to BPD via genetic similarities. Which is also a slight "duh" (are you lovin' the scientific terminology?), because the typical mode of diagnosis is depression ---> BPD ---> shizophrenia. If this unraveling of the human genome helps with early diagnosis and overall treatment, I'm happy.

Now thinking... these repetitive study may be done because they're still trying to prove BPD is a real disease. Leading me into an argument I've done many times, and lost friends over - I'll leave that for another day.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

If You're Curious...

You learn something new every day. My new knowledge: if you wish to have a clean crotch, use ivory unscented for sensitive skin ONLY. Everything else will most likely irritate you and give you symptoms of herpes-like conditions. For example, my participant who came in today with fissures in the area between her vagina and anus - she was using a soap that was too harsh. She also had hard stools as she was constipated a good majority of the time, creating stress in that region. I assume ivory soap would also be of benefit for uncircumcised men - I'll ask my one contact if I ever get up the nerve. I comment only on the uncircumcised because circumcised men have no moist places for bugs to grow.

Ivory - The Name You Trust for Good, Clean Family Fun!

This is what I do for a living (as of now). The STD stuff, not posting.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Just Keep Writing, Just Keep Writing...

alrighty. might as well, since i just spent the last 2 hours making this damn thing pretty. right about now it's time to shower. i didn't last night because i got caught up learning to play Go on my iPod touch (someone please help me). and since my meds give me irregular night sweats, it's about that time. but enough about hygiene.

SimCity has made it's return into my life - last time was about 7th grade, i believe. an iPod touch will do wonders to your ability to waste time. makes the train ride pass faster.

which reminds me: i couldn't find my 10-ride this morning (meaning $25 down the drain) so had to pay $8.10 in cash, a rip-off. also meant i missed my deer. probably wouldn't have seen them anyways because of the damn snow... oh well.

In My Head

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